• When we don’t confront someone with a concern the problem tends to get larger in our mind. Sometimes our concern is actually ill founded and we were upset without any real reason to be.

• Expressing your feelings behind someone back not only causes a loss in productivity, but most importantly when this information gets back to the person (which it invariably does) you have created an environment of distrust. Once you have lost trust it is difficult to impossible to find it again. 

• Team building is not possible when team members are not honest with each other and cannot work together. How can we work together towards a shared vision when we don’t take the time to understand and care for each other?

For our companies to run well we have to fight against professional politeness. How do we do that? Here are some thoughts to consider:

• Seek first to understand then to be understood. Although this takes time up front it can actually be a huge time saver. When people know that you care enough to listen and attempt to understand them their respect for you goes up. In addition a lot of concerns actually end up going away when people talk their problems out.

• Allow yourself to be a “human pendulum.” In other words allow your position to be flexible. Understand that the way that we perceive the world is neither right nor wrong but we believe it is “right” because of the experiences that we have had in our life that have been unique to us. Consciously try to let the other person’s position move you from your “right” position.

• Understand that it is only appropriate to have one set of values – Our work values need to be the same as our home values. We would not want someone at home to be professionally polite with us. If there were a concern at home most of us would want to try to work things out. To build a caring growth atmosphere in our organizations we need to encourage others to work things out. If possible this working things out should occur when moods are not emotionally elevated.

Team members in our companies need to understand that we are all human beings with feelings and emotions. These feelings and emotions need to be respected with honesty, concern, and caring for each other. The lesson to be learned is to eliminate “professional politeness” we need to interact with each other with honesty, respect, and a willingness to consider the other person’s point of view.

If you would like to have Mike speak to your group consider the following programs:
Constructing the Framework of Success
Motivation - Begins with Me; Grows with We
Running the Race of Life with Purpose

If you want to get Mike's insights on this topic in one on one sessions click here.

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Mike Foti is Chief Executive Officer of Cleveland Glass Block (a Northcoast 99 recipient for best employers in Northeast Ohio and a Community Pillar Award winner for community service) and President of Leadership Builders. Mike is a national speaker, writer, and consultant who helps individuals and companies get results through people. To ask Mike how he might help you, or to receive his free tips and leadership articles, call 216-531-6085 or visit his web site at www.leadershipbuilders.com.