Navigating through the jagged edges of influence

Point 1 – Everyone is 100% correct… from their perspective, unfortunately our perspectives are not large enough. You need to increase perspective and ‘soften your edges’ to see and influence a larger world. How?

• Ask – “I don’t understand?” “How do you feel about the situation?” “What do you think?”

• Put your need to be right behind your need to understand.

Point 2 – Think in spheres – of influence, that is. Your ability to influence is everywhere – your family, your work, your associates, your community. Focus on those ‘spheres’ which are (1) most open to influence and (2) you can have the greatest impact.

Point 3 – Believe you have a point, then think it through. Influence often requires confidence and courage to express and ‘live out’ your convictions. If unsure, consider testing your point with a trusted mentor or friend. Get insights, not only about your idea, but also about how it should be communicated, who should communicate it, and when. A great idea, delivered inappropriately, will implode.

Point 4 – Play ‘connect the dots’ with your relationships. Influence comes from the strength of your connections. Increase your ‘conductivity’ and ‘connectedness’ by:

• Acknowledging and encouraging others in as many ways as possible. Thank you notes, emails to acknowledge their contributions, verbal praise – just some of the ‘fuels’ to create your ‘raving fans of influence.’ Read “The Positive Power of Praising People” by Jerry Twentier.

• Being a matchmaker and igniter – introduce people who can benefit one another. Strive to be a larger ‘provider of help’ than ‘user of help.’ Recognize your own need to give and receive help will simultaneously increase as your influence grows.

Point 5 – Consider ‘circling around’ before ‘weighing in.’ Some environments are inherently more political. Ask the following questions to determine if you want to be a ‘player’ or ‘spectator’ in a politicized situation when you have a new or divergent position from the norm.

a)    Where do the key influencers stand on your position?

b)    Are the key influencers open to new ideas?

If the answers to (a) and (b) are no, I would recommend taking a spectator position. If the answer to (b) is Yes, consider what additional information or people might be needed and begin to plan your timing and approach.

Point 6 – Read ‘between the lines.’ In school you were taught to read the lines. Unfortunately, because of the lack of authenticity and openness in communications, higher levels of influence invariably require extensive reading between the lines. Consider:

• Focusing on who is being looked at during key points in a conversation (these people are generally the key influencers) and gauge their reactions.

• Evaluate if body language and facial expressions are consistent with the message.

• Read “The Secret Handshake” by Kathleen Kelley.

Point 7 – Deliver on your plan. Influence is useless without ultimately impacting a positive result. Identify your personal strengths (are you a visionary, a people-connector, a behind-the-scenes doer etc.) and take responsibilities matching your style. Use systems and people to keep you accountable and on track. Remember the bigger the plan, often, the more people you need to include in the journey.  

Conclusion

Much can, and has been said, about ‘technique’ to affect your influence. The only challenge is simple techniques lack the depth to dramatically catapult your impact and influence. High-level influence requires a belief in paradoxes. What paradoxes – you may ask?

• To influence others, you must first let them influence you.

• To gain more influence frequently requires you give more power to others.

• The more open and vulnerable you are to others, the more open they will become to your influence.

True influence is often a murky, circuitous process filled with unknowns. Your ‘payoff’ can be huge – accomplishment, contribution, and fulfillment of your true purpose and dreams.

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Mike Foti is Chief Executive Officer of Cleveland Glass Block (a Northcoast 99 recipient for best employers in Northeast Ohio and a Community Pillar Award winner for community service) and President of Leadership Builders. Mike is a national speaker, writer, and consultant who helps individuals and companies get results through people. To ask Mike how he might help you, or to receive his free tips and leadership articles, call 216-531-6085 or visit his web site at www.leadershipbuilders.com.